Finding Felicity
by ZairaAlbereo
Summary: Coming to Hogwarts Sirius finds the best of friends: The Marauders. But even they don't know what Sirius endures at home. Someone finds out and a bond is formed but kept secret. But Sirius plays with fire and secrets can come out... S/OC, early J/L
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: This is a story about the Marauders, but especially one Marauder. There will be romance, but NOT SLASH.

Warnings: Not all that sure yet. Child abuse. Probably sexual situations later on. Definitely some bad language. But I'm not really one to go for graphic details if you now what I mean. Don't expect blood and gore and don't expect smut.

Disclaimer: You would have never guessed it! Harry Potter is not mine. The books aren't mine (apart from seven copies) and the whole world of HP isn't mine either. But I own Felicity. Now who can say that of himself?

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**Finding Felicity**

_by Zaira Albereo_

**Chapter 1**

A little eleven year old boy sat on the windowsill in the dark, praying. He didn't know to whom he was praying. God or religion was not a concept he was familiar with. But nevertheless what he did was praying – to somebody, anybody who might hear him.

He always prayed for the same thing. For his door to stay closed tonight. For the noises in the house to ebb away, leaving him undisturbed. Only then would he dare to move from the windowsill to his bed. Only then he would curl up under his blankets, press his eyes closed and will himself to fall asleep.

He slowly rocked himself, mumbling the same five words again and again, like a mantra.

„I will go to Hogwarts. I will go to Hogwarts. I will go to Hogwarts."

Hogwarts was a magic school and only a week ago, a letter had arrived announcing the boy's acceptance to the first year of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy.

Yes, the boy on the windowsill was a wizard. His whole family had been wizards. For centuries, they had been some of the most powerful wizards in the world. And the small boy was the heir of this ancient dynasty - the Most Ancient And Noble House Of Black.

The boy looked up as he heard footsteps approaching in the corridor outside his room. He stopped rocking and instead sat frozen, his breath coming faster and his small heart hammering against his rips. The footsteps came closer and closer and then they stopped. Straining his ears, the boy held his breath. That's when he heard the word, whispered only, but still ringing in his ears.

„Alohomora!"

And then the door swung open.

***

It was a beautiful day on the First of September. A light breeze floated little white fluffy clouds across a merry blue sky and the bright sunlight twinkled cheerfully on the big black steam train that blowed more fluffy clouds up in the air.

Another small boy, this one as much a heir of an old wizard lineage, already sat in one of the many compartments of the train, happily bouncing in his seat while he plopped Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans in his mouth. He was alone in the compartment, but that didn't bother him. Not much bothered James Potter.

He looked out of the window and gave his mother another cheerful wave and a little eye-roll at her tearful expression. He didn't understand why she made such a fuss. He was eleven years old after all, he could take care of himself. He couldn't _wait _to get to Hogwarts. His father had told him all about it, and how much fun he had had when he attended it with his friends. It was the best school in the world!

The compartment door opened and three boys came in, dragging their trunks. One of them, a slender boy, a little smaller than James, with pitch black hair and pale blue eyes, smiled at him and James smiled back.

„Hi. Are those seats free? The train's filling up fast." The other boy asked.

„Sure." James said, with a shrug and a grin. „Make yourself at home."

Most students had climbed on to the train by now, leaving only the parents and some younger siblings on the platform. There was a hoot, and the train slowly started to move, giving the delusion that the people on the platform were slowly moving backwards. They were almost out of sight, when the door slid open again and a small, slightly breathless girl peeked in. She had long, somewhat tangled auburn hair and freckles around her nose. She smiled at the boys self-consciously.

„Ehm... hi! Is there still room in here? Everywhere else is full."

„Of course, come in!" The boy with the black hair said, and together with James the two of them helped her to pull in her trunk.

When they all finally sat in their seats and the landscape outside the window changed from houses to vast green hills, James looked at his travel companions expectantly.

„So." He said, grinning at them. „Hogwarts. Pretty exciting, hu? I'm James, by the way, James Potter."

„I'm Sixtus Avery." One of the other boys said. He was rather sourly looking, with dark brown hair, that was combed backwards. He motioned at his friend next to him, who was big and broad and had a blond crew cut. „This is Jordan Burke." Than he added with a superior smile „We're both Purebloods."

James frowned at him and then saw the third boy roll his eyes. „I'm Sirius Black." The boy said. „And my ancestors have been pureblooded to Charlemagne and back. Which is probably the reason my whole family is barking mad." He said and grinned.

Avery and Burke glared at him, and James laughed. He already liked him.

„So who are you?" he asked the girl, who sat in the far corner, across from Sirius.

„Felicity Holden."

Avery frowned at her. „Never heard that name before. Are your parents wizards?"

The girl, Felicity, looked at him surprised. „No, they are doctors." she said.

„BOTH of them?" Burke asked and Felicity looked slightly puzzled.

„Well, yes..." she said, a little unsure. „Although my mother doesn't work much anymore."

Avery looked at the girl with sudden disgust. „You're a Mudblood!" He spat. „You shouldn't sit in the same compartment with us!"

The girl looked at him confused and blushed. „I'm sorry. I didn't know there were rules..." she said embarrassed.

James who had momentarily been shocked in his outrage, opened his mouth to tell this Avery bloke to shut the hell up, when suddely Sirius was standing between Sixtus Avery and the girl.

„How dare you call her that, you git?" He hissed, bristeling with anger. „She has as much right to sit here as you have! Or rather she has more, because she obviously has manners! Now, shut the fuck up, or go somewhere else to spread that bollocks!"

For a moment everybody was stunned. Then Avery sneered. „Well isn't that interesting... A member of the ancient and oh so noble house of Black, defending a filthy Mudblood!"

There was an roar of outrage, as two bodies flew at Avery simultaneously, colliding with him and slamming him to the ground. A wild scuffle ensued, especially since Burke tried to pull James off of Avery and got pulled in into the mix. Fists were flying and legs were flailing, muffled shouts and yelps were heard, until suddenly...

„WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?"

The fight stilled immediately, as all four of them turned staring at the boy, that stood in the door. He was tall and broad-shouldered and at the front of his black robes stuck a sparkling badge that read 'Ted Tonks - Prefect'.

„Well? Stand up and answer me!"

The boys all struggled to stand up. Their shirt tails were loose, their hair tussled, Avery's left eye was swelling shut quickly and Sirius was sporting a split lip. Having to stand closely together in the small compartment, they kept pushing and cuffing each other.

„So? Who wants to tell me what this was about?" Ted Tonks looked from one face to the next.

„Black and Potter attacked me!" Avery burst out.

Ted looked at James and Sirius. „Is that true?"

They both nodded, looking subdued but unrepentant.

„And why would you do that? On your first day?" Ted asked with a grim expression.

„Ehm... sir?" Felicity, who had until now been sitting in her seat, frozen, stood up facing their interrogator. „I think they did it, because he called me something... a Mudblood?"

„WHAT!?" Ted's eyes flew to Avery. His voice had suddenly a dangerous edge. „Did you say that?"

Avery squirmed, eyeing the much taller and obviously angry boy haltingly.

„Well... she is." he said petulantly

Ted clenched his teeth. „Take your stuff and come with me." He told Avery. „You too, Burke!"

Avery seethed, but did as he was told. When the two boys had dragged their trunks out the door, Ted turned around at James and Sirius. „Brawling isn't tolerated at Hogwarts." He said sternly. „You will report to your head of house after the feast tonight."

Ted walked out, closing the door behind him and the compartment was silent for a moment, as James and Sirius sat down again.

„I'm sorry you're in trouble because of me." Felicity said with a guilty expression. „I don't know much about magic and wizards. I didn't know I was a witch, until two days ago."

„Really?" Sirius looked at her curiously.

„But didn't you get a letter from Hogwarts in July?" James asked surprised. He had gotten his letter in July, and his dad had told him, that every new student got them on the same day, all over the country.

Felicity looked a little uncomfortable. „I think I did, but my father threw it away."

James was outraged at the very idea, that somebody would do that and opened his mouth to say so, but was interrupted by Sirius.

„So you're parents are muggles? I guess, they were a little shocked when they found out, huh?" he said.

„I guess..." Felicity said softly. „So... what was that what Sixtus called me? What is a Mudblood?"

Sirius eyes darkened.

James snorted before he spoke. „It's the stupidest thing one can say! Some people think themselves better, because their parents and grandparents and all have been wizards. But a witch can be just as brillant and powerful when her parents were muggles. That's what my dad says." He told them.

Sirius didn't say anything, but he looked strangely guilty. „Do you want a Chocolate Frog?" He asked Felicity. „I've gotten them from my cousin."

TBC

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End Notes:

Let we tell you a secret. I don't much like original characters - the famous 'OC's. I've read some nice stories introducing OCs, but again many who got on my nerves within two chapters. I guess the problem is, that people tend to make their OCs like the perfect characters they would like to be themselves. But since none of us are perfect, we tend to dislike those, that seem to be – there you are.

Having said that... Yes, this is a story with an original character. But it won't be all about an original character. And don't worry. I'll try my best not to make her one of those know-it-all, can-do-it-all, has-thousands-of-powers-and-no-faults persons. I obviously will tell you a little bit about her, but I won't dive off the cliff. If you think I'm overdoing it – please feel invited to tell me so!

So what do you think? How did I do? I would be so pleased if you'd tell me and leave a review!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

„_Do you want a Chocolate Frog?"_

It wasn't like Sirius Black thought all problems could be solved with a Chocolate Frog. He rather was quite conscious of the fact, that for example the many, many_ things_ at home, weren't the way due to the lack of chocolate at the Black Mansion. Although there wasn't any. At least not for him.

No. Sirius Black was handing out Chocolate Frogs, because he felt guilty. He wasn't even sure w_hy _he felt guilty. He was rather accustomed with that feeling and the immediate reason never was that clear. Although he had the feeling, right now it was because he had defended this girl, Felicity, from two boys who should by all means be his friends. Their parents were friends with his parents. They all would end up in Slytherin together and his parents would _expect_ him to become friends. The thing was, he couldn't stand them, the whole lot of them. They all just bleated out what their parents told them, living happily ever after in their pure-blooded inbreeding circus.

But he should _try_ to become their friend, making those oh so bloody important contacts.

And because he didn't, he felt guilty...

Then he felt guilty for feeling guilty for defending a girl, that was all new to their world, against two brainless idiots. He shouldn't feel guilty for that! It had been... well... it had been right.

A cough brought Sirius out of his inner rambling.

„You alright, mate?" The cheerful boy, James, who in fact was already cheerful again, asked.

Sirius nodded.

„You... you're hurt." Felicity said. „You're bleeding." She indicated towards his lip.

Sirius touched his lip and frowned. He had not felt anything before. „It's nothing." he said.

At that moment the door slid open again and two girls looked in. One had red hair and sparkling green eyes and the other was rather tall, with blonde hair and an impish smile.

„I guess we're right here." The blonde girl said cheerfully.

The redhead looked at James and Sirius disapprovingly. „One of the prefects told us to change seats, because you were fighting." She said. Her eyes took in their ruffled hair and clothes and Sirius bleeding lip with a frown. You could see, that this girl didn't miss much. Then she smiled at Felicity.

„Hi. I am Lily Evans and this is Alice Prewett." The blonde girl waved at Felicity grinning.

„Don't worry!" The redhead, Lily, went on. „We won't let them tease you."

Sirius felt quite offended at Lily's words, but it was James who spoke up. He didn't seem to know any inhibitions.

„We didn't tease her!" James said, anger evident in his voice. „Those other two called her names, not us!"

Felicity nodded. „That's true." She said to the two girls, who were taking the seats across from her now. Sirius had moved to the seat at the window, opposite James. „They called me something obviously bad and that prefect got really angry with them." She explained.

Alice looked at her curiously. „Really? What did they say?"

„They called me a 'Mudblood', I didn't really know what it meant." Felicity said with a little shrug.

Alice face dropped and her eyes went wide. „They said that? Those little bastards!"

Lily looked at her searchingly. „That doesn't sound very nice, but why is it such a big deal? What does it mean?" she asked Alice.

„Because that's just about the worst thing you can say, that's why!" Alice said calmly, but her eyes were sparkling with fury. „It's not what it means, it's the way the people who say it think. They think they are better, because their parents were wizards too. It's stupid and it's wrong!"

Lily didn't look too impressed. „Well, but that's just that. It's stupid. No reason to start hitting each other."

James rolled his eyes and Sirius grinned. Girls! They just didn't get it. But then it dawned to him, that Professor Slughorn, the head of Slytherin House, would probably contact his parents and tell them about his behaviour. His grin faded. His parents approved even less of punching and hitting than Lily Evans. It was so primitive. Yes, his father would hit him sometimes. A single blow. Performed to show him his place. But apart from that his parents used magic to punish him, not their hands. They would be furious to hear he had tussled like a common muggle...

„So, what do you reckon what houses you will be in?" It was Alice voice that interrupted his thoughts.

„Gryffindor." James said without any hesitation, no doubt in his voice. „My whole family has been in Gryffindor."

„Still, you can't always know." Alice said. „Although I guess it pretty much runs in some families. I guess for me it would be Gryffindor or Ravenclaw then. My mother was a Ravenclaw. But I'm not so much the book-girl, so I might be coming more after my father." Again, she grinned. She seemed to do that a lot.

„Are there many houses?" Felicity asked and blushed a little.

It must be odd, Sirius thought, to not know that you were a which and then suddenly be dropped into the Hogwarts Express, having no clue where you were going and what it would be like. Sirius felt strangely sympathetic. He might have known, that he was a wizard for his whole life, but he understood something about feeling lost. Like everybody around you was sure about themselves, talking about stuff you didn't understand.

„I think I've read that there are four, isn't it?" Lily asked, looking at Alice.

„Yes, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin. They all are supposed to represent some different values and talents. We all will get sorted tonight before the Start of Term Feast" Alice said, putting her feet up on the only empty seat in front of her.

Felicity and Lily both looked a little worried.

„Don't worry!" James said good-naturedly. „I guess all of the houses are alright. As long as it's not Slytherin! They are a bunch of idiots!"

Alice raised her eyebrows at him and indicated with her head at Sirius. James frowned at her, but Sirius knew what she was trying to say.

„Well, I guess that would be me then, mate." Sirius mumbled with a shrug.

James looked at him wide-eyed. „You think you'll get in Slytherin?" He asked astonished.

„All my family has been. Like you said, kinda runs in the genes, I guess."

„But you _could_ go somewhere else, you never know!" James said, sounding rather hopeful.

„I don't know if it would do me any good, so." Sirius said with a small smile. He felt oddly grateful, that James didn't want him to belong to what he called a bunch of idiots. „My parents would be furious!"

„Well, it wouldn't be your fault, would it?" James asked. „You can't do anything about it. The hat decides."

Sirius nodded, but secretly had to disagree with James. It would be his fault. At least that was how his parents would see it. It would be his fault for not being enough of a wizard to be sorted to the 'most noble house of them all'. It would be his fault for embarrassing them in front of all their friends...

But then it wouldn't happen, Sirius tried to calm himself. There hadn't been anything but Slytherins in his family for centuries. He just wished that thought would not fill him with so much dread.

TBC

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A/N: I've had some difficulty deciding on a rating for this story. If you want to know the full of it visit my profile page and see me ranting. The thing is, that the story starts out rather easy, isn't it? So why rate it M? Well, the story will follow them through their time in Hogwarts, and there might be things happening later, when they are _older_. And then there might be some things happening to Sirius, that aren't for childs eyes (which is kind of the problem). So don't be confused, I just tried to be on the safe side. :-)

If you could be so kind, please review! Just give me a hint, if it's any good...


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thank you amIfive, Potterfan82 and MostlySane for the kind reviews! I wasn't sure if anyone was reading this... :-)

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**Chapter 3**

They arrived at Hogwarts station when it was already dark. Felicity had changed into her new black school robes, which she had purchased at Diagon Alley, a totally fascinating shopping street for wizards. It had been hidden in the backyard of a rather seedy pub and Felicity had not known where to look first, trying to take in all the strange shops and people and merchandise.

Of course it hadn't been her parents, that had taken her there. They wouldn't know how to find it, not being wizards, and they would never let themself be seen anywhere near a place like this. No, it had been a rather amiable elderly woman, who had come to her house two days ago, that had taken her. Her name was Murial Doge and she had said she was a friend of the headmaster of her school.

It had been that headmaster, who had been responsible for Felicity being allowed to attend Hogwarts after all. Like she had told James and Sirius, her father had thrown away the strange letter, that an owl of all things had delivered to their house. She had seen that it was addressed to her, but she had not been allowed to read it. When she asked her father, who had indeed looked into the envelope - even though his face was one of disgust - he just told her someone had pulled a rather stupid and silly joke. And that was that.

But letters had been coming and her father had gotten angry. Then one afternoon, a tall man with a long grey beard and the strangest clothes Felicity had ever seen had stood on their doorstep, asking if it would be possible to speak with her father.

It might have been the strange authority that seemed to radiate from the older man, that had prompted her father to let the weird looking man, who introduced himself as Albus Dumbledore, into the house.

Unfortunately they had gone into her father's study, where she was not able to hear anything through the closed door.

But after Dumbledore had left, her father had called her into the room. He had then told her that she would attend a special school from next term on. A school that dealt with people like her, who had a 'special condition'. Her father had been very disappointed about it. But Dumbledore had obviously convinced him of the fact, that what ever it was that was wrong with her, wouldn't be stoppable.

The next day Mrs Doge had shown up to help her shopping for all the stuff she would need at her new school. It were the strangest things. A cauldron, and long black robes and magic books... But the strangest thing had been the wand. She had spent the better part of an hour waving short wooden sticks in the air, feeling silly and like a total failure. Obviously Mrs Doge and the shopkeeper expected something to happen and it just didn't. When at last one of the sticks – wands – had suddenly erupted in golden sparks with a bang, she had been so surprised, she had dropped it.

She had the feeling she still had to learn an awful lot about being a witch. And all the other kids around her seemed to know so much more! Like Alice and James and Sirius. And even Lily! Although she had told them, that her parents were 'muggles' as well. But she had known about Hogwarts since July and read all about it. Her parents had been delighted, that one of their daughters was a witch, or so she had told them.

Her parents had been embarrassed. They were both doctors, in fact her father was a quite famous cardiologist. They lived and breathed science. All her birthday and Christmas presents were books about the human body and biology or famous scientists. Or a chemical kit and a microscope. It might even have been somewhat interesting, if it would not have been so much. There were other things she liked. Like books with real stories, or climbing trees, or just lying in the grass and watching the clouds float across the sky, searching for dragons and unicorns in their forms. She would have liked to play with other kids as well, but she only was allowed to do so with those her parents approved of, and most of them were just boring.

When she was eight her father had dissected a rat with her and her sister. Felicity had cried for a whole afternoon after burying the rat in their garden behind her mothers prized rosebushes.

Her older sister Marian, on the other hand was a real little star. She had already won three science awards at her school at the age of thirteen. Her parents were so proud of her. If she, Felicity, could just be a little bit more like her sister... And now that.

Her parents hadn't even brought her to the station. They had called a taxi and told her to behave and take care until Christmas. There had been none of the tears and hugs she had witnessed on Platform 9 ¾. She sighed sadly, but when Alice gave her an encouraging smile and Lily squeezed her hand and whispered „Don't worry!" she already felt better.

They made their way to the school with little boats that glid over the smooth surface of a lake. In the first boat was the man who had greeted them at the platform. He was huge and she had heard someone whisper that he was a half giant. It was to cool to be true.

The lake and the looming castle looked beautiful, but Felicity couldn't really appreciate it. She was too nervous about this 'Sorting', that would take place when they arrived at the school. James had told her, that she would have to wear a hat, and the hat would then announce which house she belonged to. That was strange in itself, but so was everything else she had seen in the last two days. Even if she felt a little insecure because she knew so little about all things magic, she liked it. It was all a little crazy, but she liked it! And she liked Alice and Lily and James and Sirius. They weren't boring, but really nice and they didn't sneer at her. Well that Avery guy had, but you got idiots everywhere. The thing was, she liked these people, these witches and wizards and she wanted to stay. But what if tonight, at the Sorting, the hat would announce she didn't belong here and wasn't a witch after all?

These were the things that kept running through her head. James and Alice and Lily on the other hand, seemed totally unfazed and kept pointing out different things to each other. Or rather Alice and Lily were pointing them out to each other, while James pointed them out to Sirius.

Sirius seemed strangely subdued though, and there were little worry lines on his forehead. Felicity frowned puzzled. Why was _he_ worried? His whole family were wizards, he should feel like a fish in the water. And there was no way _he_ would be sent home... Then she remembered him saying, that his parents would be upset if he would not get into the right house. Slytherin, she thought it was called. Well, she didn't care what house, if she would just be sorted _some_where. Even if it was Slytherin, which seemed to be not much favoured by either James nor Alice, she would be glad. If someone like Sirius got into Slytherin, it couldn't be that bad...

***

An hour later, the Sorting was in full swing and Felicity was biting her lip until it almost bled in her anxiety.

Avery had been the first to be sorted and the hat had shouted without any hesitance: „Slytherin!"

A small little boy with glasses had become a Hufflepuff, as had a girl with a round face and short blonde hair.

Then Sirius stepped up to the stool, sat down and put the hat on his head. The hat was silent for a moment, and Felicity could see him swallow. He was nervous. Then the head said in a very surprised voice. „Well, I wouldn't have thought I see that day, but it is GRYFFINDOR!"

Sirius eyes widened and the table to the far right, that was decorated in red and gold, cheered. The students on the far left table on the other hand hissed and booed. Someone called „Traitor!". That must be the Slytherins, Felicity thought. Sirius stood up slowly and put the hat back on the stool. His face was a mask, not betraying any emotion, as he walked over to sit with the Gryffindors.

The sorting went on, and faster as she liked, the people in front of her became fewer abd fewer. Lily had been sorted into Gryffindor as well and now she soon was next. When her name was called out, she gave Alice behind her a desperated look, but she just winked at her.

Hesitantly she walked up to the stool, aware that the eyes of the whole school were upon her. She sat down and put on the hat, waiting for it to announce she was an intruder and should be sent home immediately.

Then she heard the hat whisper into her ear.

_Well Slytherin won't be an option with you will it? Although I see quite an urge to prove yourself... but they don't take well to muggleborns, you see... _

_Quite a good brain you've got there. Yes, I can see you becoming quite the brilliant student. So it might be Ravenclaw. __Also you are a hard worker, too. Lot's of studying as far as I can see. But not so much joy for it, eh? It's a burden rather for you. So maybe I should put you in Hufflepuff... Although you might be starting to have some fun, if you get those spellbooks into your ha- Oh. _

The sorting hat suddely stopped.

_Oh, well, that changes things, I guess. Yes, I might make you after all, a GRYFFINDOR! _

The last was shouted out loud, and the hat was lifted from Felicity's eyes to reveal the Great Hall and the cheering Gryffindors.

Felicity felt kind of dazed, but more relieved than she had ever been, when she walked to the Gryffindor table under the loud cheering of her fellow students. She was stunned. They were cheering! Because she belonged to them! Smiling like an idiot she sat down next to Lily, who hugged her, and smiled at Sirius across from her.

Sirius smiled back, butit didn't reach his eyes. He was a little white around the nose, as if he wasn't feeling all too well.

Felicity noticed, that she had missed some of the Sorting, when a laughing Alice suddely plopped down next to her and gave her a bear-hug. James followed her not too long after, the hat having shouted „Gryffindor!" before it even touched his head. He was grinning like a maniac and the rest of them grinned back.

„That's funny isn't it?! Alice said, looking around her. "That we all got sorted into Gryffindor? Maybe we'll soon be fighting dragons together!" she waved her arm about, like holding an imaginary sword.

James snorted. „You are girls!" He said. „You could not slay any dragons!"

„Excuse me?" Lily looked at him, her green eyes blazing. „We could do anything you boys can do, and probably even better."

„Yeah!" Alice exclaimed. „Because we wouldn't waste so much time, slapping our own shoulders, congratulating us how great we are!"

„Exactly." Lily agreed. „Although, from what I heard, dragons are an endangered species, so I think _no one_ should slay them!"

James rolled his eyes.

TBC

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Do me a favour, push the button! Please review!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I know, it's been a little longer since I updated. But exams are taking a lot of my time and well, this story didn't get much love, so I invested my time more in my other fic. But I'm back! I like this story and I have lots of cool stuff planned for it, so I won't give it up.

Special thanks goes to Lioness-of-Tortall-7 for reviewing!

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**Chapter 4**

The feast was finally over, and all the Gryffindor first year students had followed Ted Tonks up to the dormitories in Gryffindor Tower. All but two. James Potter and Sirius Black had looked at each other nervously when Professor McGonagall had approached them after the bowls with dessert had vanished and Dumbledore had wished them all a good first night back.

„Potter. Black. Follow me."

That was all the stern looking woman had said and the two boys had hurried to shuffle out of the Great Hall behind her.

Sirius and James followed Professor MgGonagall through the corridors of the castle, without a clue where they were going. James was casting looks at Sirius with a nervous smile, and Sirius tried to smile back, but he was too agitated. He had the feeling, like his stomach had been tied into knots the whole day and since the Sorting in had just gotten worse. He had almost not been able to eat anything of the delicious looking food.

He was a Gryffindor. A _Gryffindor_! He was so doomed. Of all the houses he could have been sorted into, that was the one that was sure to get him killed. It was like marrying the daughter of your archenemy, like in that old muggle play. Ronaldo and Judith or something. Only that their families had previously _loved_ their respective children, while it seemed that _he_ had been the thorn in the side of his since he was born.

But this... this would surely end him! He could never go back home. Well, that was not such a bad thought in itself, but he doubted his parents would actually let him stay away. As much as they seemed to hate and despise him, they still seemed to want him around, if for no other reason than to show him just exactly that.

Sirius was so ensnared in his fears and worries, he at first didn't notice that they had reached their destination. Professor McGonagall had stopped in front of a door and opened it with a strange wave of her wand. Then she turned around and looked at them down her nose.

„Step inside."

They obediently shuffled into the room, that looked like a mixture between an office and a library. Professor McGonagall flicked her wand at the fire place and a fire roared up immediately. She went behind her desk and sat down looking at the boys for a few moment in silence.

„Would you care to explain to me why you felt the need to engage in physical violence, on your first day, before you even reached the school?" She raised her eyebrows at them, waiting. „I don't know if this kind of behaviour was accepted at your own homes, although I rather doubt it."

James looked up at this. „They started it!" He said defiantly. „They called Felicity a Mudblood!"

The professor frowned. „Yes. Mr. Tonks told me about that. That was a very stupid and spiteful behaviour and they will be dealt with by their own head of house, Professor Slughorn, I believe. Still, this is no excuse for your behaviour. At Hogwarts you will be expected to solve your quarrels in a different way. Fighting is under no circumstances acceptable behavior in this school."

Her gaze went from Sirius to James and back again, and the two boys nodded while looking appropriately bashful.

„Alright." Professor McGonagall concluded. „Since this incident happened on the train, even before you were sorted, there will be no points taken from Gryffindor. But don't be mistaken. If anything like this will happen again there most certainly will be. I'm sure your fellow students will confirm to you, that I have no reservations to take points from my own house. As it is you will both serve detention. For that, you will come here to my office at seven o'clock tomorrow evening. And I will of course write to your parents and tell them about your behaviour."

She stood up and walked over to the fireplace, throwing some yellow powder from the mantelpiece in the flames. „Very well. You can go to your dormitories now. One of the house-elves will show you the way."

The moment she had finished her sentence, a small creature with brown leathery skin, pointed ears and huge yellow eyeballs emerged from the fireplace and bowed deeply to Professor McGonagall.

„Ah, Niffy. Would you please be so kind to escort Mr. Potter and Mr. Black to their dormitory? They will also need the password."

Niffy the house-elf took another deep bow and turned to the boys. „If you would follow me young masters?" She said walking to the door of the office.

James followed her, but Sirius remained standing in front of McGonagall's desk. The stern looking witch had seated herself again, looking through some parchments. When she noticed Sirius still standing in front of her, she looked up with raised eyebrows.

„Yes Mr. Black? Is there something else?"

Sirius cleared his throat somewhat nervously. „Ehm... I wondered if I could speak to you for a moment, Professor." He said awkwardly.

Professor McGonagall looked at him questioningly, but didn't probe any further, when she saw the anxious face of the boy. She looked over to the door, where James still lingered, waiting „Move on already, Mr. Potter. I will bring Mr. Black after we are done."

James gave Sirius a curious look, but vanished out the door after the house-elf.

Professor McGonagall studied the young boy before her for a long moment. „Well? What is it Mr. Black?"

Sirius swallowed but met the eyes of his unexpected head of house. To his surprise they looked at him rather kindly. „I wanted to ask you if you could maybe _not_ write to my parents about this." He said quietly.

„I'm sorry Mr. Black, but that's the way things like this are handled at Hogwarts."

Sirius swallowed again. He felt rather queasy. „Okay." He whispered. „But... could you maybe leave out the reason... that it was because of Avery and Burke calling her a Mudblood?"

Professor McGonagall frowned. „Why do you want me to leave out the only thing, that actually explains your behavior even if it might not excuse it entirely?" She asked, looking at him with her eyebrows raised almost to the rim of her pointed hat.

Sirius grimaced, staring at his shoes. „My parents won't see it like this. They will be furious enough I fought like a muggle. If they find out I'm in Gryffindor and associating with Muggleborns, that will make things even so much worse."

Minerva McGonagall looked at the young Black for a moment. „I understand, that all your family has been in Slytherin House. But you might know, that it's not always our family ties that characterize us the most." Her tone had become a little warmer. „If the Sorting Hat put you in Gryffindor it had it's reasons and I won't be able to change that."

„I don't want to change it." Sirius admitted in a whisper. He couldn't believe he had the audacity to state it out loud. When he looked up at the professors eyes, he said with a little more confidence. „I... I like being in Gryffindor. But my parents... for them it will be a scandal. And it will be my fault. I just thought..." He broke of, somewhat resigned. It would probably make no difference. For his parents he would be as good as dead.

„Well, Mr. Black, since you acted out of the need to protect a fellow student, and since I'm _positively convinced_ that you regret your behaviour... I think it won't be necessary to inform your parents of your actions this time. I rest assured it won't happen again."

Sirius looked up at her with a small smile. „Thank you, professor."

Professor McGonagall nodded curtly and stood up, sweeping past him. „Now come, Mr. Black, we have to get you to your dormitory, it's getting late."

Sirius followed her up the travelling staircases and corridors to a portrait of a rather well-fed Lady in a pink dress. „Hinkypunk!" said Professor McGonagall and the portrait swung open, revealing a small entrance in the wall behind it. The professor then turned towards Sirius.

„Here we are. Your luggage will already have been brought to your dormitory." She gave him a small, almost unnoticeable smile. „Good night, Mr. Black. And Welcome to Gryffindor House!"

***

When Sirius came up to the dormitory he was greeted by the loud and cheerful voice of James.

„Hey Sirius! There you are! What did you have to talk about with McGonagall? I saved you a bed next to mine!" The grinning boy ran up to him, not waiting for an answer and slung an arm around his shoulder, Sirius couldn't help but grin back. „Come on, you have to meet out fellow comrades-in-arms-and-spirit!"

James dragged Sirius towards his appointed bed and the other two boys sharing their dormitory. One was short and chubby with hair of an unidentifiable colour. He grinned at Sirius, while chomping on a sugar quill. How he could still be hungry after the feast Sirius didn't understand. „Hi. I'm Peter. Pettigrew. You're Sirius Black the third, aren't you?" His voice was a little squeaky and he held out his hand to Sirius looking very eager.

Sirius shook Peter's hand, with an amused frown. „Ehm... yeah. But you can leave out the third, or the Black as well." With a slight sigh he mumbled to himself „Not sure how long I'll still be having that name..."

Then his gaze fell on the fourth boy, who stood by the bed on the other side of his. He was slender, almost delicate with honey coloured hair, that hung in his face and big brown eyes. His clothes were worn and he looked almost like a little stray puppy, especially because he was looking at Sirius with a somewhat awkward expression.

Sirius went over to him and held out his hand. „Hi, I'm Sirius."

The boy took his hand and shook it with a surprisingly firm grip. „Yeah, I know. Your family is quite well known." he ducked his head a little. „I'm Remus Lupin."

„Nice to meet you Remus. And... well, I hope you won't hold my family against me."

Remus looked at him a little surprised, but than he nodded and smiled. His whole face suddenly changed and looked young and boyish. James came over and slung one arm around Sirius and one around Remus, turning them around to face Peter.

„So boys. Sirius and I already have our first detention. I think that is a sign. What do you say, we will become the greatest mischief-makers this school had ever seen?"

Peter was the first to nod in agreement. Remus gave James and Sirius a shy smile and Sirius... well, Sirius grinned at the rest of them and said „Yeah, I guess we will!", but in his eyes there remained a sliver of doubt and a glimmer of fear.

TBC

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Please review! You're feeding the muse!


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **I'm writing a lot on my other story 'The Promise' right now, so I don't manage to update as fast on this one. But I haven't forgotten it! It just might be a little on the slow side...

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**Chapter 5**

While the first year boys of Gryffindor planned their claim to fame, there was a heated discussion in the girls dormitory. Two blonds, one black and two redheads sat on one of the beds around a bowl of jelly slugs. Lily, Alice and Felicity had found two other girls in the dormitory on arrival. A black haired girl with an olive complexion named Annabel Flyte, and a small round blond with pigtails by the name of Maggie Switch.

„So it's the five of us. Ain't that neat? Lily, Lizzi, Maggie, Annie and Allie." Alice said counting around her with a finger until she ended up by herself.

„My name is Annabel." The black haired girl looked at Alice like she way a loony. But Felicity laughed. Alice was just hilarious by nature, and she never meant to offend. Felicity was sure it would never be boring with her in the dormitory. And she liked to have a nickname. Her parents and sister had always called her Felicity. Silly shortenings of a perfectly good name were not done at the Holdens. But 'Lizzi' sounded nice. Like someone who had friends.

„I like Lizzi." She said. „You can call me that if you want to." Alice grinned at her approvingly.

„Have you met the boys of our year yet?" Maggie asked curiously.

„We sat with James Potter and Sirius Black in the train." Lily said crinkling her nose.

„Can you believe that Potter?" Alice asked, looking scandalized. „He honestly thinks he can do things we can't because he's a boy!"

Annabel looked at her outrage mildly surprised. „Well, he probably can. Boys do lot's of things, girls don't. But who would want to do that stuff anyway?"

„Like what?" Alice asked, her eyes still gleaming. „Tell me what it is that I can't do?"

„My dad says, girls can't fly as well as boys. He says that's why they don't play Quidditch."

„I play Quidditch!" Alice shouted.

„She means professionally, like on the teams." Maggi explained. „Those are all men."

„That doesn't mean that women can't!" Lily said. „It just means that nobody lets them, doesn't it?"

„My dad says women don't have the coordination and spatial sense." Annabel shrugged.

„That's total rubbish! What does he know?" Alice cried.

„Ehm... he would probably know a lot about flying, wouldn't he?" Maggi asked, trying to calm Alice down, as Annabel looked slightly offended.

„And why's that?" Alice asked huffily.

„Well, he builds brooms, doesn't he?"

„He does?" Alice peaked up at that, almost forgetting the offending statements the man had given.

„Flyte? Like Flyte and Barker?" Maggie looked at her meaningfully.

„You're dad is THE Flyte?" Alice asked Annabel surprised. „Wow, you must get all the greatest supplies and brooms and stuff."

„I don't like brooms." The dark girl said. „Normally I just tune out whenever the conversation turns to Quidditch and brooms. I hear about that _all the time_."

„What's Quidditch?" Felicity asked and Alice started to laugh.

„Hey!" The other girl cried out annoyed. „It's not my fault, I don't know about stuff. I bet you have never heard of football!"

Alice face fell instantly. She really had never heard of football. „I'm sorry." She said, immediately sheepish. „I guess I keep just forgetting you've only lived with muggles."

„You're parents are muggles?" Maggi asked surprised. „That must be strange."

Felicity shrugged. „It is. Not them being muggles, I mean. But suddenly finding out I'm a witch. Although it _does_ explain quite a few incidents while I grew up I guess."

„You did spontaneous magic?" Maggi looked awed. „I never did that. My parents thought I was a squib. That would have been embarrassing. Being a Switch, everybody thinks I should be a really good witch."

„Switch?" Lily asked. „Like Emeric Switch, the author of our Transfiguration book?"

Maggi nodded gloomily. „He's my uncle."

„That's cool." Felicity said, trying to be supportive.

„Only if I get good grades at Transfigurations and Charms, and I don't think I will. I tried, back home and nothing happened."

Felicity frowned at her thoughtfully. She had been worried, that she would not be any good at magic, because she did not know a lot about it. She had not thought about, how it would be for someone from a wizarding family not to be able to do magic.

„I don't think you have to be worried." Alice said good-naturedly. „My sister has not done a lot of magic yet either. She is nine. Mom says some people are just late bloomers." She looked at Lily and Felicity „And it makes absolutely no difference if you are muggle-born. Lot's of powerful witches and wizards have been!"

They all smiled at each other. Knowing that they were all a little nervous had a calming effect and the tension of earlier had been broken. Maggi giggled suddenly. „So, what _do_ you think of the boys?" she asked.

Lily rolled her eyes. „That James Potter has a head as big the great hall, that's for sure."

Felicity grinned. It was true, James seemed to have an ego that would have lasted for two. But him and Sirius had been nice, defending her. It had given her a warm feeling in the stomach. Nobody had ever stood up for her like that.

„What do you think about Sirius Black being in our house? That is really strange, isn't it?" Maggie asked again.

„Yes, the Blacks have been in Slytherin like for centuries." Annabel confirmed. „I've heard they are really... you know." She gave an exaggerated shudder.

„What do you mean?" Felicity asked looking at Annabel strangely.

„Dark wizards." Annabel whispered. „All of them."

Maggi nodded, Alice frowned and Lily rose a single eyebrow.

„I-I don't think that can be." Felicity stuttered, her eyes wide. „Sirius seemed really nice."

„Yeah, but he was also awfully concerned about not getting into Slytherin." Alice said thoughtfully.

„I wonder why he didn't." Maggie said, chewing a jelly slug.

„Well, it's about who you are, not where you come from, isn't it?" Felicity asked.

„Yes." Lily nodded. „But where you come from moulds the person you are quite a lot, doesn't it?"

Felicity looked down at the bed spread, biting her lip. Was that always true? Look where she came from, and how she never had fitted there. „I still don't think Sirius is like that." She mumbled quietly.

„Anyway who else did we get?" Alice asked again, changing the subject with a grin.

„Peter Pettigrew." Annabel said. „I think my dad knows his dad. He works at the Ministry, something in the department of magical transportation. He looked harmless. Peter, not his dad."

„And then there was somebody called Remus Lupin, I think. You know, the shy one?" Lily asked.

„He looked a little ill too." Alice said, through a mouth full of jelly slugs. „I wonder what got him in Gryffindor. He didn't look very bold."

„You never know." Lily said. „Bravery doesn't have to be about being loud and cheeky. Although I guess, Potter wouldn't agree." She wrinkled her nose.

The other girls laughed. „I can already see how this is _not _the beginning of a wonderful friendship for Miss Lily Evans and the boy who's name henceforth shall not be spoken anymore." Alice declared dramatically and with a lot of snorts and giggles the girls crept into their huge soft beds.

Soon all that was heard was the regular breathing of four girls and Maggi's soft snores. In the dormitory on the other side of the tower everything was silent as well. But only three boys strolled through the realms of dreams. The fourth one was lying wide awake contemplating his future.

-

The next morning the great hall was in a hustle. Kids in their school robes strolling in and out the great double wing door, calling out to each other, laughing and yawning. The plates were laden with food again and Felicity sat down between James and Alice and opposite the shy boy, Remus Lupin. She smiled at him and he returned it with a small nod and a glint in his eyes, that made Felicity doubt the boy was as timid as they had thought.

Loud screeches filled the air above their heads suddenly, and Felicity looked up, surprised. A huge swarm of owls flew into the hall through a porthole under the roof, circling the hall once before diving down to the tables and landing in front of students all around. Felicity had seen the owls delivering her school letters, but that had been one at a time. These were at least a hundred. She couldn't help but stare. The boy across from her, Remus, didn't look fazed, but kept eating his eggs.

„It's just the post." He said with a twinkle in his eyes. „They come in every morning."

„I guess, it needs some getting used to." Felicity said. „My parents wouldn't have allowed a pet in the house at all, never mind on the breakfast table." She grinned.

Just then a huge eagle owl landed right in front of Sirius, who sat next to Remus. Sirius did not move, but stared at the bird with a hard lineament around his mouth.

„Hey, what you've got?" James asked, waving his bacon in the direction of the owl.

But Sirius didn't response. His face again set in a mask, he reached for the owl's leg and untied a small, purple letter.

„Ohoh." Alice said next to her, gripping the tabletop.

Felicity looked at her confused. „What's wrong?" she asked.

„That's a howler!" James gasped. „Isn't it? I've never seen one that's purple."

Sirius hand trembled slightly as he reached for the faintly smoking envelope, but his face remained expressionless. He opened the flap, but instead of pulling out the letter, the envelope suddenly came alive, lunging forward and slapping Sirius in the face.

„YOU WORTHLESS SCUM!" A high-pitched voice screeched. „YOU DON'T BELONG TO THIS FAMILY!! YOU'RE DISGRACE! STUPID, USELESS FILTH!! NOT ENOUGH WIZARD IN YOU TO FILL AN ELF-TOOTH! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, YOU HORRIBLE BOY!? THE BLASPHEMY ON THE NOBLE HOUSE OF BLACK!! NOT ONE WORTHY BONE IN YOU! NOTHING BUT A BLEMISH!! IF I HAD KNOWN THE DISGUSTING SHAME YOU WOULD BRING UPON THIS FAMILY I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN RID OF YOU THE DAY-"

But what the woman would have done the Great Hall filled with students didn't find out. Sirius had snatched the smoking purple envelope from his face and had ripped it up. Immediately there were blisters erupting from reddish skin, but he didn't even seem to notice. He just kept shredding the envelope until there was nothing put a pile of slightly smoking scraps of paper. His face still didn't betray any of his thoughts.

Suddenly he looked up at them, raising his dark eyebrows when he saw all their eyes upon him. His stormy gray-blue eyes were unreadable. With a casual movement he swept his long black hair out of his face and gave them an expectant look. „Let's got to class!" he said, getting up and strolling out of the great hall, his bag loosely held under one arm. The rest of the table stared after him in stunned silence.

TBC

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A/N: If you read this story and like it some or even if you don't like something: Please leave a review. It doesn't get much love and I'm not sure if it's because of the setting or the writing... Help me out, will ya? Please?


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **Hi everyone! You're still with me on this one? I know it has been ages. Well, actually months. I was really wrapped up with my other story, but I plan to post on this one more frequently, since 'The Promise' is almost finished. If you are reading that one and waiting for the last chapter. It will come! I'm having a little bit of writers block on that one, and hoped to get the muse up with a little variation. This chapter did not come easy either, and yes it's short again, somehow chapters on this one always come out shorter. But at least there is an update, so it's happy news all in all isn't it?

Not much plot moving, but a peek into Sirius' background.

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**Chapter 6**

When Sirius had left the Great Hall he let out the content of his lungs in a shuddering breath. His chest was burning like he had been holding that breath since he had seen the purple howler on Mephisto's leg. He swallowed hard and pressed his eyes close for a moment. His heart was beating like he'd been running. His hands felt sweaty and shaking a little as he rubbed them against his trousers. It had cost all his strength to walk out of the hall without betraying his emotions.

He had lain awake in his bed listening to the deep breath of his roommates until the early hours of morning, his thoughts running in circles. He was a Gryffindor. His parents would... he honestly couldn't imagine what his parents would do. He had been punished often and severely, but that had been for nothing like this. This was _unthinkable _in the Noble House of Black. He honestly contemplated if his mother would kill him off, if she could find a good opportunity.

But he _was_ a Gryffindor. As much as the prospect of facing his parents with this news scared him, deep inside him there was pride and... relief. It _had_ to mean something that he was the first Black to not get sorted into Slytherin. He stared at the dark canopy of his fourposter bed, which he knew was red and gold, even if he couldn't see it in the dark. Maybe he really _was _different to them, to all the people he had grown up with, who were full of spite for anyone who wasn't as 'pure' as them. Maybe he _was_ different to his parents and that was why they couldn't love him.

It might have seemed overly dramatic of an eleven year old boy to say his parents didn't love their son, and Sirius had not wanted to believe it for the longest time. But he knew it was true. He hated his parents. But he loved them too. And he hated himself for loving them. He had been five years old when his illusions about his parents had gotten the first crack. It had been the same time he had learned that not all people were like him and his family.

_It had been hot, especially up in his room, where he had been sitting for the whole afternoon, when a strange tingling melody had floated in through the partly open window. Looking out, Sirius had seen a white muggle mobile standing on the street. The mobile had a huge open window at the side and a man with a white paper hat was handing a boy an ice-cream cone. The boy took it and ran up the street. Another kid approached. A little girl about Sirius age. Sirius knew that he was not supposed to go out on his own, but he was hot and incredibly bored. He ran down the stairs and out on the street. When he approached the mobile and saw the little girl getting her cone, while handing the man some coins, it came to his mind that he did not have any money. Disappointed he stopped. _

_The girl came up to him and asked, „Don't you want a cone?"_

_Sirius shook his head, feeling stupid. _

„_Do you want some of mine? It' s chocolate and peanut-butter."_

_Sirius looked up surprised and a beautiful smile graced the little boy's features. They sat down side by side on the narrow wall on the other side of the street, the stone warm from the sun._

„_I'm Mary." she said, handing him the ice with a smile showing off a tooth space. „what's your name?" _

„_I'm Sirius." he said, taking the cone and licking the ice-cream carefully. It was sweet and delicious._

„_How old are you?"_

„_Five."_

„_Me too. Do you want to be my friend?" _

_Sirius looked at the smiling girl surprised and then nodded excitedly. He didn't have any friends, only a baby brother and his cousins, which were all older and Bella and Cissa were really mean too. It would be so great to have somebody closer to his age who would play with him. Right then and there, sitting in the sun with his new friend, sharing an ice-cream cone, Sirius felt truly wonderful. _

„_SIRIUS ARTURUS BLACK!! What in Salazars name do you think you are doing!?" _

_It was his mothers voice, like chalk on a blackboard, and just like that Sirius happy bubble collapsed He jumped up in fright and the cone slipped from his hand. It fell to the pavement with a splash, the ice-cream starting to melt in a puddle on the hot asphalt. _

_Sirius opened his mouth to say something. An explanation, an excuse he didn't have. His mother whipped her wand out, and there was a gush of air, grazing his cheek. He ducked with a yelp, but his mother had not shot the spell at him. She had shot it at the little girl he just befriended. Sirius heard a 'thud', and when he turned around he saw Mary lying on her back on the side walk, not moving. _

_Sirius had been too shocked to move or say anything, as his mother grabbed his collar and dragged him back into the house. Before the door closed he caught another look at the girl. She was still lying there like she was dead. _

„_Now you see what happens when you don't do as you are told and associate with muggle filth."_

That evening his parents explained to Sirius that 'Muggles' were people who couldn't do any magic. They were stupid and lower than wizards, hardly more than animals. He was forbidden to ever associate with them, it simply wasn't done. Sirius listened to all this, but honestly didn't really understand. Mary had not seemed that different from him at all. And she had been really nice to him... It had not been her fault that Sirius had run outside without permission.

For a long time Sirius thought he had killed the girl, who wanted to be his friend. Because he had been misbehaving, because he had talked to her, his mother had got angry and because of that Mary was dead. It had eaten him up from the inside, filling him with disgust and self-loathing and he often had nightmares about that day. He never tried to befriend anybody else. And he tried the hardest to be a good boy and do as his parents said, although how ever much he tried it seemed never enough. Only years later, when Sirius had been around seven, he had learned the truth by coincidence.

_It had been one of those gatherings he had come to hate, because he had always had to dress up for it with too stiff and high collard robes. And his cousins and their friends would always be around. They were already attending Hogwarts and would always try to hex him or if that did not work, simply lock him in a cupboard. _

_It was then, that he heard his mother tell a story about some muggle family, that once had lived in the neighbourhood. How they had gotten the scare of their lifetime finding their little baby girl in the middle of the street, stunned. Of course the girl would have woken once the spell wore off, which really only could have taken a day. It was silly really, but they had moved away after that incident, and good riddance to that._

„_Really, mostly I wanted to teach our boy a valuable lesson."_

Sirius had stood in the hall frozen for a long time after that. He had not killed Mary... He had _hated_ himself, because he had caused the death of a girl, who had been nice to him and had wanted to be his friend. But now all his anger turned in another direction. What ever lesson his mother had wanted to teach him, had not been the one he learned that day. He had learned that his own family was cruel and wallowed in the fear of others. That they would torture those who were weaker. And that while they might have power, they were not the better people.

From that day on Sirius had become even more of an outsider in his family. He never again wanted to just believe what his parents told him, because now he knew that they lied. He didn't try to be obedient anymore, and his questions and disagreement got him even more punishment than before. At least now he knew what for.

His father was a hard man, who had always considered him too weak and pathetic, and was determined to make a real wizard out of him by the tip of his wand. To set him straight, to form him, bend him and toughen him up. And Sirius was always falling short. His mother seemed to despise him even more and would shower him with her hateful harangues, calling him stupid and a weakling. Now she also called him an ungrateful brat and a shame to the House of Black.

Only his brother Regulus still liked him at least a little. He would sometimes smuggle food in his room when he was grounded once again, or even squeeze his hand in a small sign of comfort under the dinner table. Regulus didn't get the same treatment, but then he never spoke up, or asked questions that made his parents angry, he simply did as he was told, something Sirius simply couldn't do anymore. And then again his parents disdain had somehow _always_ been concentrated more on Sirius. Maybe they had always know that he was different and didn't belong. So what did it really matter that he would again be the cause of disgust and disappointment? He had been nothing else for all his life. The fight for his parents affection had been lost a long time ago.

And now he was at Hogwarts. Far away from them and out of their reach. Of course he had to go home for the holidays, but he wouldn't think about that now. He would simply bear it when the time came, like he always did. Much more important were his fellow Gryffindors. James and Remus and even Peter. Felicity and Lily and Alice. They all seemed nice enough and they were Gryffindors - just like him. He belonged somewhere now. And he would do whatever he could to be the best Gryffindor ever. Maybe then he would finally have friends, that liked him. They could just never find out how weak and pathetic he really was. And they wouldn't. In Hogwarts he would be someone else. In Hogwarts he would be free of the pain and humiliation, and no one, least of all his new friends, would ever know what happened at N°12, Grimmauld Place.

***

When Sirius' black thatch had vanished through the great double doors, it was James who finally broke the silence that had fallen over their end of the Gryffindor table.

„Wow. I guess his mother found out about his sorting," he said slack jawed and still holding the forgotten bacon in his hand as he stared at the smoking purple scraps.

„Who... who was that? That voice?" Felicity asked looking shocked.

„Probably his mother, from what she said." James chuckled nervously, glancing at the others. They too seemed to feel a little uncomfortable, after Mrs. Blacks screeching and Sirius' stoic reaction to it.

James couldn't imagine his mother to ever call him 'worthless scum', even if he'd messed up badly. And Sirius had not really done anything. It was not like he had purposefully gone against his parents wishes. He had not asked to be in Gryffindor or anything, it wasn't his to decide! And then nobody wanted to be in Slytherin anyway... But of course Sirius' parents were Slytherins themselves, so they were probably morons. James knew it wasn't nice to think that way of his new friends family, but he already didn't like them and it just confirmed his view of Slytherins in general.

„Do you think he'll be in trouble?" Felicity whispered next to him.

James shrugged. „Nah! Nothing she can do really, is there? They'll have to accept it like everybody else."

„They are probably worried about their reputation, you know." Peter butted in from across the table. „Being Blacks and all that. I guess they are particular about tradition, being such an old family."

Felicity nodded, biting her lip. „Do you think we should go looking for him? I think the letter thing burned his fingers quite badly."

„Really?" James looked at her surprised. He hadn't seen that. „I didn't know Howler's could do that."

„Sirius' could." Remus said, looking upset. „And we have to get to class anyway. Transfiguration. Sirius' will probably be already there."

When they reached their Transfiguration classroom, Sirius wasn't there, but he slipped in just after their teacher, Professor McGonagall. James had kept him a seat next to him, and when he looked at the other boys hands, he saw that they were a little red, but nothing bad. Felicity must have exaggerated things. Also, Sirius was grinning cheerfully when he plopped down next to James with a slightly breathless „Thank you, mate!". He obviously wasn't too worried about the Howler, so there really was no reason for James to be. And then there were more important things to think about. For example how to best prank their Slytherin classmates in revenge for the incident on the train.

TBC

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A/N: Please, help the author and treat the muse for her efforts! Take a moment and leave a review!


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